We’ve Been Taught, but What Have We Learned?

Columbus discovered America; Native Americans were all savages; the pilgrims had a peaceful dinner with the Indians to teach us to give thanks; it’s fun to graduate from kindergarten; kindergarten should start earlier; preschool is fun for kids; preschool isn’t enough; working 9-5 is our obligation; 9-5 isn’t a long enough work-day; sex is our natural way of procreating; sex is dirty and bad; sex sells; children need to prepare for the future by acting like adults; beauty pageants are not just for grown ups; celebrities are usually sexy; celebrities are role-models because they are rich, are hounded by the paparazzi, are on the cover of magazines, and are on TV; celebrities wear “bling”; being popular means getting noticed; we should wear “bling”; cover our homes with holiday lights and decorations to out-do our neighbor;being successful means to get rich; walking is good for your brain and body; staying active is part of basic survival; walking is too slow; cars, buses, trains, plains and cruise ships can get us there faster; when we embrace all forms of technology it’s part of progress; cars are too small; sport utility vehicles are perfect for everyday use; dumping fuel residual into the ocean is okay if we are shipping products and making money; graduating kindergarten is great; first grade is a huge accomplishment; celebrate fifth grade departure; public schools should charge money for proms and other activities; progress means we are advancing as a species; industry is great for the country; privately-owned stores provide more personal service and feed our communities; we need to exercise; we need to buy more stuff; supermarkets sell a lot more for less; pay for things on credit; violent video games where you kill people to win and without consequence are great babysitters; the media is the best source for knowledge; The Green Party doesn’t have a chance, so why bother?; democracy means two political parties are enough and getting to vote for one of two candidates for president; junior high is rad; high school is the bomb; college rules; an associate degree means you’re getting smarter; student loan interest rates are very fair and necessary; a bachelor’s degree guarantees a great job; filing bankruptcy ruins your credit; having poor credit prevents us from buying a home; home mortgages are far beyond affordable; debt is good and necessary for a decent life; grass grows; mow your lawn; not mowing your lawn leads to fines; hair grows; cut your hair; manicure your lawns; buy new and throw out the old; a bachelor’s degree is no longer enough; dump gasoline, oil and other shit into the water in the name of industry and leisure; pollute the earth and sky with aerosols; accept chem-trails; fluoride kills cavities; water is our most basic and pure natural resource; water alone is not good enough; fluoride should be added to our water; borrow more money from the federal government; cash money is backed by an equal amount of gold that’s stored in Fort Knocks; we can visit Fort Knocks; we can no longer visit Fort Knocks; the government should help other countries with their debt, but bomb them if we need to spread democracy; the government is in tremendous debt; homeless people are dirty and have long hair; rich, successful people wear suits, are neat and tuck in their shirts; a tie looks sophisticated; a tie looks like a noose; wealthy bankers play with our money; corporations are entitled to tremendous wealth; corporations are the practical result of the capitalist system; even corporations and corrupt bankers can go bankrupt and should be bailed out to start anew; being “American-made” is no longer important if you’re an American; we should arm guerrillas and rogue mercenaries in other counties to fight and kill for our benefit; armed guerrillas and mercenaries are our enemy and therefore a threat to national security; America is “the land of the free”; terrorists don’t agree with the policies of a “free” society; all people have a right to be free; when freedom is under attack, we must find someone to bomb, because it’s a threat to our homeland; a master’s degree leads to a much better job; we should build bigger fences and fear our neighbors, give in to frisks, pat-downs, search and siege, wire-tapping, welcome radiation and naked-body scans in order to travel, and give up our rights to privacy in the name of protecting a free society; musicians and people who spread peace are hippies; hippies are druggies and losers; druggies and losers should be in prison or assassinated; the wisest and most creative people who use their talents to spread compassion, harmony, peace and equality usually end up dead, “insane” or committing suicide; stories of death, insanity, murder and suicide make for great news reports; society is a melting pot of mixed races, religions, ethnicity and nationalities; wave a flag and show pride in your country; be weary of those who don’t look, sound, talk or act like you; dead celebrities are no longer a threat; dead celebrities are great money makers; we must kill our enemies and fabricate lies to justify it; war can spread peace and democracy throughout the world; fear anyone who doesn’t agree with any of the above, because they are ant-patriotic, don’t support our troops and therefore our enemy; kill our enemies.

“This is your wake-up call”

head_up_your_ass

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